Sunday, September 28, 2003
Found a tag board where people can leave their message! Feel free to leave your prayer requests and I shall pray for you.
I fell behind on my schedule for my revision again! Got to do some catching up.
Today's message in Church came from the text James 1 about Suffering and Philippian 4 about Giving. Will share some of my learning when I've got more time to write.
Looking forward to Monday once again.
I fell behind on my schedule for my revision again! Got to do some catching up.
Today's message in Church came from the text James 1 about Suffering and Philippian 4 about Giving. Will share some of my learning when I've got more time to write.
Looking forward to Monday once again.
Saturday, September 27, 2003
Today began as an uneventful day. Had no plans, clinging on to routines. Was mudding when Fallin/Mirevil << tengleng message me "Don't you have physics today?". I completely forgot about it. I knew I had to go for it, even though she might not be there (and she wasn't there last week). Anyway I went for it hopeful.
I reached LT4 a little late (yah I got the news a little late). Could hear fab soong from outside. (OH NO y fab soong? last week was Lek. will she scold me?) I peered into the LT from the paneled door. I found where my friends were seating and to my surprise there was an empty seat beside cewei and just behind shuwen! guess where i sat after that ^^
Felt a little uncomfortable. excitement, tension, nervous, confusion, I managed to settle down ater a little help from cewei asking him what fab soong was doing. To my delight, she was going through electronics topics. Planned to study that today and for the previous few days. Read through but not thorough then.
(Dun bother to read the next 2 paragraphs: mostly very personal thoughts and feelings)
The remedial lecture turned out useful. thought it was going to be a waste of time. also walked with her to the mrt!! (well not really but she was just behind) I almost wanted to get onto the same train with her when I saw her entering the train in the opposite direction (y opposite direction?) but i feel so hesitant to do so. She probably thinks I'm a stalker, pervert or someone really sick in the mind and besides there are so many other people with better options she would prefer to hang around with.
Got home feeling depressed about the opportunity missed to talk to her. while mudding again, tengleng messaged me again saying that "somebody says shuwen kinda like me". A joke or not I still feel glad because I feel closer to her in another unexplored dimension.
VotD
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." -- Matthew 6:33
How true! I was thinking about this verse for the past few days and it came out on Bible Gateway.Com as the verse of the day. The Lord has everything planned for me. By seeking Him, he will bestow upon us what he has made ready for us. Turn to Him in whatever circumstances faced. Many blessings are also what I least expected, but I should always remember the most important gift to us, His mercy in redeeming us from sins through Jesus Christ, my saviour.
I reached LT4 a little late (yah I got the news a little late). Could hear fab soong from outside. (OH NO y fab soong? last week was Lek. will she scold me?) I peered into the LT from the paneled door. I found where my friends were seating and to my surprise there was an empty seat beside cewei and just behind shuwen! guess where i sat after that ^^
Felt a little uncomfortable. excitement, tension, nervous, confusion, I managed to settle down ater a little help from cewei asking him what fab soong was doing. To my delight, she was going through electronics topics. Planned to study that today and for the previous few days. Read through but not thorough then.
(Dun bother to read the next 2 paragraphs: mostly very personal thoughts and feelings)
The remedial lecture turned out useful. thought it was going to be a waste of time. also walked with her to the mrt!! (well not really but she was just behind) I almost wanted to get onto the same train with her when I saw her entering the train in the opposite direction (y opposite direction?) but i feel so hesitant to do so. She probably thinks I'm a stalker, pervert or someone really sick in the mind and besides there are so many other people with better options she would prefer to hang around with.
Got home feeling depressed about the opportunity missed to talk to her. while mudding again, tengleng messaged me again saying that "somebody says shuwen kinda like me". A joke or not I still feel glad because I feel closer to her in another unexplored dimension.
VotD
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." -- Matthew 6:33
How true! I was thinking about this verse for the past few days and it came out on Bible Gateway.Com as the verse of the day. The Lord has everything planned for me. By seeking Him, he will bestow upon us what he has made ready for us. Turn to Him in whatever circumstances faced. Many blessings are also what I least expected, but I should always remember the most important gift to us, His mercy in redeeming us from sins through Jesus Christ, my saviour.
Friday, September 26, 2003
Full of ups and downs for me today. I went to Honours' Night today. The ceremony wasn't what excited me, but the preparations did. The day before, I had my hair cut short so i could spike it lolx. I got up extra earlier to get a thorough bath and do up my hair wif a little gel. When I was ready for school, I looked in the mirror. I thought I look kinda cool and couldn't wait to get to school (before my hair flattens down again... it always does somehow).
(Dun bother to read the next 2 paragraphs: mostly very personal thoughts and feelings)
Anyway, I felt really image conscious today. On the MRT, i felt as if people were looking at me. kind of made me feel nervous. When i reached school, the moment i had anticipated for a long time arrived. When i entered the hall, she was already seated at her place (I always look in that direction on entering the hall). to my utter dismay, she didn't really seem to care. I wished she would take notice of me. and she wasn't there yesterday so i felt even worse off i guess.
I could invite two people to Honours' Night. My parents ain't going and I'm alone. I didn't see her for the rest of the day. How much I wanted her to know that I wanted her to be my guest tonight. After all, it's only one's desire to share the glory and joy with someone important than to keep the greatest honour for oneself. Oddly, in this physical dimension she seems so distanced, a total stranger; yet she lies close in my heart. Anyway, I still feel tickled by the fact that Carrie beame my "MUM" coz she wanted to go to the event with her frens, so i let her in on a place.
Honours' night was really a bore. But all along I just dwelled on the fact that I didn't invite her and the award was meaningless. Then, there was the call to worship. Guilt-stricken, i realized that all the while I had only been thinking about inviting her but I had forgotten about my own Lord. How much I suddenly realize my Father in heaven would desire for me to invite Him to grace the occasion.
Another thought struck me that as much as the inspiration that comes from her, my Lord has provided even more for me. How can I be such an ingrate to not have express my gratitude to the one who has guided me through all my uncertainties.
Dinner was served after the ceremony. At first, I felt isolated. Everybody was in huge groups and congregating around. But my Lord has given me the company of friends. My classmates stayed together with me even though I knew they could have gone to hang out with others. We even took a group photo together. I really appreciate the company of Jasper, Christine, Jason(s), Weimeng, LiuJun, Eugene, Carrie, PeiFang; come to think of it, a huge proportion of my class were awardees. Wonder when they can develop or upload the photos.
I went home after they decided to leave, alone. I still feel lonely, nevertheless, but I now that God was in me, and it made me less agonized. I walked along an empty stretch of darkness to Buona Vista, but I felt comforted as well as remorse.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
(Dun bother to read the next 2 paragraphs: mostly very personal thoughts and feelings)
Anyway, I felt really image conscious today. On the MRT, i felt as if people were looking at me. kind of made me feel nervous. When i reached school, the moment i had anticipated for a long time arrived. When i entered the hall, she was already seated at her place (I always look in that direction on entering the hall). to my utter dismay, she didn't really seem to care. I wished she would take notice of me. and she wasn't there yesterday so i felt even worse off i guess.
I could invite two people to Honours' Night. My parents ain't going and I'm alone. I didn't see her for the rest of the day. How much I wanted her to know that I wanted her to be my guest tonight. After all, it's only one's desire to share the glory and joy with someone important than to keep the greatest honour for oneself. Oddly, in this physical dimension she seems so distanced, a total stranger; yet she lies close in my heart. Anyway, I still feel tickled by the fact that Carrie beame my "MUM" coz she wanted to go to the event with her frens, so i let her in on a place.
Honours' night was really a bore. But all along I just dwelled on the fact that I didn't invite her and the award was meaningless. Then, there was the call to worship. Guilt-stricken, i realized that all the while I had only been thinking about inviting her but I had forgotten about my own Lord. How much I suddenly realize my Father in heaven would desire for me to invite Him to grace the occasion.
Another thought struck me that as much as the inspiration that comes from her, my Lord has provided even more for me. How can I be such an ingrate to not have express my gratitude to the one who has guided me through all my uncertainties.
Dinner was served after the ceremony. At first, I felt isolated. Everybody was in huge groups and congregating around. But my Lord has given me the company of friends. My classmates stayed together with me even though I knew they could have gone to hang out with others. We even took a group photo together. I really appreciate the company of Jasper, Christine, Jason(s), Weimeng, LiuJun, Eugene, Carrie, PeiFang; come to think of it, a huge proportion of my class were awardees. Wonder when they can develop or upload the photos.
I went home after they decided to leave, alone. I still feel lonely, nevertheless, but I now that God was in me, and it made me less agonized. I walked along an empty stretch of darkness to Buona Vista, but I felt comforted as well as remorse.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
A portion of the text I was reading during quiet time:
Psalm 19:7-11
The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making the wise simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold; they are sweeter than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.
There are so many reasons to live by the law of God, but there are none to live without.
Today asked Daddy if I could have $80 to go for seniors nite. At first, he was like "-_- it's not worth it. don't need to attend." I was like "-o- .oO(It's a one in a life thing! I really want to go so much. besides I want to see her for the last time if ever)". I guessed I'd usually complain and start quarreling with him but this time patience set in my heart, even though I was pretty upset. I closed my eyes and prayed that anger would not consume me. I started to thing of alternative ways to earn the money to see myself to that function. I guessed if I managed to earn myself some $$ from the web design for the bike shop recommended by Jason, should be able to foot the tab. Then, he pulled out $80 (yes three red ones and one blue one) and was like "-_- take and go (maybe T_T because I had just burned a hole in his pocket?)". Thank God for answered prayers.
Didn't feel like going to economics and physics lecture. spent my time doing up a design for the bike shop. Amazingly, I got certain inspiration that perked me up into designing something that I myself was proud of. Usually be bored after a second look at it. Upload it somewhere and link it from here when got time.
oh, and Wingfat "zhao school" again lar. Why he got so many problems? real one or fake?
Met the j1s from ed board today to vet through the content and add the captions. Real interesting and funny people. Made a lot of corny remarks and lewd jokes that really tickled me. Glad that they like my works too. Ian say 2:30pm meet me to meet up with Ms Leow but pang seh after that. Nvm meet again tmr. (been carrying my labtop around for the past week or so. need to lift some burden of my back)
Today; feel energetic even after returning home from school. Thanks to Charlene who accompanied me on my way home. Would usually stone and rot on the train and the journey would just take all the life away from me by the time I get home. Had an interesting conversation and some laughs here and there. It's really nice to have someone to talk to when you really need one.
Hey, when you're delirious you start to take notice of things you did not notice? The flowers have bloomed from the trees in front of my house. The scenary is really nice. If only my digital camera was functioning and I had *someone to share the beauty with.
Mrs Khemani and Ms Leow *pestered again to get a handphone. Told them I didn't get one because I have no need of one as I didn't have a girlfriend anyway and they were in *disbelief. LOL Mummy said her company was having some promotion where the handphone subscription was offered at a lower rate. I'm really deciding to get a handphone now but didn't I say I'll get a girlfriend first?
Psalm 19:7-11
The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making the wise simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold; they are sweeter than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.
There are so many reasons to live by the law of God, but there are none to live without.
Today asked Daddy if I could have $80 to go for seniors nite. At first, he was like "-_- it's not worth it. don't need to attend." I was like "-o- .oO(It's a one in a life thing! I really want to go so much. besides I want to see her for the last time if ever)". I guessed I'd usually complain and start quarreling with him but this time patience set in my heart, even though I was pretty upset. I closed my eyes and prayed that anger would not consume me. I started to thing of alternative ways to earn the money to see myself to that function. I guessed if I managed to earn myself some $$ from the web design for the bike shop recommended by Jason, should be able to foot the tab. Then, he pulled out $80 (yes three red ones and one blue one) and was like "-_- take and go (maybe T_T because I had just burned a hole in his pocket?)". Thank God for answered prayers.
Didn't feel like going to economics and physics lecture. spent my time doing up a design for the bike shop. Amazingly, I got certain inspiration that perked me up into designing something that I myself was proud of. Usually be bored after a second look at it. Upload it somewhere and link it from here when got time.
oh, and Wingfat "zhao school" again lar. Why he got so many problems? real one or fake?
Met the j1s from ed board today to vet through the content and add the captions. Real interesting and funny people. Made a lot of corny remarks and lewd jokes that really tickled me. Glad that they like my works too. Ian say 2:30pm meet me to meet up with Ms Leow but pang seh after that. Nvm meet again tmr. (been carrying my labtop around for the past week or so. need to lift some burden of my back)
Today; feel energetic even after returning home from school. Thanks to Charlene who accompanied me on my way home. Would usually stone and rot on the train and the journey would just take all the life away from me by the time I get home. Had an interesting conversation and some laughs here and there. It's really nice to have someone to talk to when you really need one.
Hey, when you're delirious you start to take notice of things you did not notice? The flowers have bloomed from the trees in front of my house. The scenary is really nice. If only my digital camera was functioning and I had *someone to share the beauty with.
Mrs Khemani and Ms Leow *pestered again to get a handphone. Told them I didn't get one because I have no need of one as I didn't have a girlfriend anyway and they were in *disbelief. LOL Mummy said her company was having some promotion where the handphone subscription was offered at a lower rate. I'm really deciding to get a handphone now but didn't I say I'll get a girlfriend first?
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
ARgH! Senior's nite a splittin headache. Lacking of people to occupy the vacant seats of our table. Wished that everybody could have been more cooperative and take interest in participating in such activity as a class. Guess many are uncertained because they might be travelling overseas or returning to their home country. But if not, WHY NOT GO? go lar stop waivering in your decision.
VotD
We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Romans 5:3-4
Suffering. Sitting in on ze Honour's Nite rehearsal that lasted almost 3 long boring hours. The arduous task of briefing everyone on the procedures and etiquette to follow and next the dry run.. zzz waited 99.99% of the time for a chance to go up to receive and award that will only last for less than 5 seconds. Wonder if it's going to be that monotonous on the actual day itself.
I feel many members in competitive sports CCA should deserve these awards. They've put in so much effort and time in training and competing for the school and only a few of them are being recognized by this awards giving ceremony. Seen her practising everyday when I go home after school for the past few months. y didn't she attain it? Are medals and trophies only worthed the mention but(tetapi > malay for but : lesson 2) not the spirit?
Thank God that He has given me an undaunted spirit. I've always felt stronger in times of need and despair. Times when I'm in solitude and abandoned I'd pull myself through, always being able to look ahead and pursue what I desire. Still I have yet to find out what God has installed for me in His good, pleasing and perfect plan. Sometimes, I wished God would just give me an insight to all I have to do and whether what I pursue is in line with what He sees in me.
Timothy, whatever you're going through, do not despair. Jasper told me that you're in exam mode. He also said you lost a lot of friends during your O's because of your change in behaviour. Whatever the case, I really want you to know that there'll be people around you that will support you through your times of need. Wished I could share your burden.
Still haven't been able to settle my own problems though. Wished I knew what's up everybody's mind, then I can really decide what to do. Matters of the heart are so complexed >.<
VotD
We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Romans 5:3-4
Suffering. Sitting in on ze Honour's Nite rehearsal that lasted almost 3 long boring hours. The arduous task of briefing everyone on the procedures and etiquette to follow and next the dry run.. zzz waited 99.99% of the time for a chance to go up to receive and award that will only last for less than 5 seconds. Wonder if it's going to be that monotonous on the actual day itself.
I feel many members in competitive sports CCA should deserve these awards. They've put in so much effort and time in training and competing for the school and only a few of them are being recognized by this awards giving ceremony. Seen her practising everyday when I go home after school for the past few months. y didn't she attain it? Are medals and trophies only worthed the mention but(tetapi > malay for but : lesson 2) not the spirit?
Thank God that He has given me an undaunted spirit. I've always felt stronger in times of need and despair. Times when I'm in solitude and abandoned I'd pull myself through, always being able to look ahead and pursue what I desire. Still I have yet to find out what God has installed for me in His good, pleasing and perfect plan. Sometimes, I wished God would just give me an insight to all I have to do and whether what I pursue is in line with what He sees in me.
Timothy, whatever you're going through, do not despair. Jasper told me that you're in exam mode. He also said you lost a lot of friends during your O's because of your change in behaviour. Whatever the case, I really want you to know that there'll be people around you that will support you through your times of need. Wished I could share your burden.
Still haven't been able to settle my own problems though. Wished I knew what's up everybody's mind, then I can really decide what to do. Matters of the heart are so complexed >.<
This is my third time trying to post a continuous series of blogs. I've tried doing so in the past, but my attempts failed when laziness kicked in. So here goes nothing...
Yesterday > made a resolution to involve God in all my actions and decisions, to devote all my life to His "good, pleasing and perfect will" (Romans 12:2). I like this verse because it always remind me that God makes the best decision for me. Still feel a little guilty about missing church because I hangover at Wingfat's place while building Eric's new comp. I do not want to stray away after being found. Lord guide me in your path.
School was as exciting as any other day. I've always look forward to going to school to hang out with my friends and of course to see that *special somebody*. Again, worship during chapel didn't turn out too well. Cracking sound of the guitar, muffled by the PA system and the rhythm wasn't really in tune. But I've always longed to worship God in a manner regardless of the music and the people, just my soul and the lyrics in the song. Still, I feel a sense of hypocritism during worship when the setting and atmosphere just doesn't blend in with my being. Nevertheless, a satisfying and calming wave passed through me and refreshed my soul. If only I could let the Holy Spirit take control of my body, then can I worship the Lord wholeheartedly. That is still one of my unfulfilled desires.
Timothy looked depressed again. He seemed to be avoiding people around him. Don't have any idea how to help him so I guess I'll leave him alone. Wished I knew what he was going through or if only he would speak up. I should pray tonight that his emptiness will be filled by the spirit of God, that he will be able to rejoice in the Lord in all circumstances.
Choo asked for my help again regarding an e-Book for CIP. I'm delighted to accept the offer as I'll be able to see my work being published again.
Wingfat y u leave so fast? wanted to go eat lunch together. ended up munching on sao rou fan from the chicken rice stall. Anyway felt like eating that too. During lunch, david and jasper talking about senior's night. Told them I want to go too. don't know whether will be able to see her then. A thought came to me whether I should sit with her if I had an opportunity. In doing so, I might be neglecting my friends?
Revision; too slow again. while practising maths, got stuck at integration & applications, forgot trapezium rule. duly worried about my paper 1 grades. need to buck up. Revised my plan to go through electronics topics in 4 days for physics again. that'll be the end of this week.
VotD (http://www.biblegateway.com)
Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.
Romans 15:7
(Reflection on the verse)
1) Manner of acceptance >Just as Christ also accepted us
2) Reason > to the glory of God.
3) Lord, help remove my eyes of prejudism and look beyond appearance
Hmm, this entry will come under Tuesday... took too long to write this whole chunk; prolly fill in the blanks when more comes to my mind. Monday's gone. gdnite and gd morning!
Yesterday > made a resolution to involve God in all my actions and decisions, to devote all my life to His "good, pleasing and perfect will" (Romans 12:2). I like this verse because it always remind me that God makes the best decision for me. Still feel a little guilty about missing church because I hangover at Wingfat's place while building Eric's new comp. I do not want to stray away after being found. Lord guide me in your path.
School was as exciting as any other day. I've always look forward to going to school to hang out with my friends and of course to see that *special somebody*. Again, worship during chapel didn't turn out too well. Cracking sound of the guitar, muffled by the PA system and the rhythm wasn't really in tune. But I've always longed to worship God in a manner regardless of the music and the people, just my soul and the lyrics in the song. Still, I feel a sense of hypocritism during worship when the setting and atmosphere just doesn't blend in with my being. Nevertheless, a satisfying and calming wave passed through me and refreshed my soul. If only I could let the Holy Spirit take control of my body, then can I worship the Lord wholeheartedly. That is still one of my unfulfilled desires.
Timothy looked depressed again. He seemed to be avoiding people around him. Don't have any idea how to help him so I guess I'll leave him alone. Wished I knew what he was going through or if only he would speak up. I should pray tonight that his emptiness will be filled by the spirit of God, that he will be able to rejoice in the Lord in all circumstances.
Choo asked for my help again regarding an e-Book for CIP. I'm delighted to accept the offer as I'll be able to see my work being published again.
Wingfat y u leave so fast? wanted to go eat lunch together. ended up munching on sao rou fan from the chicken rice stall. Anyway felt like eating that too. During lunch, david and jasper talking about senior's night. Told them I want to go too. don't know whether will be able to see her then. A thought came to me whether I should sit with her if I had an opportunity. In doing so, I might be neglecting my friends?
Revision; too slow again. while practising maths, got stuck at integration & applications, forgot trapezium rule. duly worried about my paper 1 grades. need to buck up. Revised my plan to go through electronics topics in 4 days for physics again. that'll be the end of this week.
VotD (http://www.biblegateway.com)
Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.
Romans 15:7
(Reflection on the verse)
1) Manner of acceptance >Just as Christ also accepted us
2) Reason > to the glory of God.
3) Lord, help remove my eyes of prejudism and look beyond appearance
Hmm, this entry will come under Tuesday... took too long to write this whole chunk; prolly fill in the blanks when more comes to my mind. Monday's gone. gdnite and gd morning!
